Letter to heaven

this song has been created during the 1st sem of 2nd year...but i forgot to secure it, so i rewrite it again.... it is a song from IU-missing child... in the loving memory of my brother, Gerald Antonio....

How have you been my dear?

It’s been a while…

Have you been fine my dear?

Though I’m not around…

You’ve been all alone

Working hard alone

Walking into the path that’s made for you

But i hope you know what’s in my heart

c/o         Cause I’m living here alone

There’s no one here can see right through me

With my friends I try to laugh

But I still cry when I come back home

I try to move on, I try to be strong

I’ve try not to cry when I’m alone

Every prayer that I made, I hope that you can always hear me

I miss you

Do you still know my name?

Hope you remember…

Do you think of me dear?

Do you miss me now?

All the memories, anniversaries

And everything that we share together

Hopefully you will not forget it

c/o

Thanks for memories we shared

Thanks for caring for me

Thanks for coming into my life

Thanks for everything that you have made for me

I love you for the rest of time

I love you

I try to move on, I try to be strong

I’ve try not to cry when I’m alone

Every prayer that I made, I hope that you can always hear me

I miss you

Our Love story

It’s Sunday evening & I’m standing near the window ~oh

While I’m having a cup of tea

How I love the rainy day

It’s great, It’s cool, cool

And suddenly my phone is ringing & it’s you who call

Though you’re not free today

You said the first rain drop remind you of me

You know I love the rain

Happy that I always on your mind

Feel grateful I received your love

Each day & night I pray for you & me

And I promise you my love

c/o 1      I will be the same girl

                The girl who took your heart away

                And I always be there

                Through all your joys and sorrow days

                Even you’re far away

                Make sure you always in my heart

                But the only will change

                Is that I love you more each day

               

Please hold on to me, please hold on to me

Don’t ever let go, my baby boy

Cause I’m loving you, cause I’m loving you

 There are always rumors about you, gossips about me everywhere

And we fought sometimes

But they don’t even know the truth my dear, about you, about me, about us

But looking at the path we take

The journey that’s not easy to reach

And all the ups and down

And tears we shed

This love is growing strong

c/o 2      And I am very proud,

To see how far we made today

Our love still going strong

Though they just try to make us part

And I am very glad

We did not hear what people say

And be able to trust, to love, to care for each other

Please hold on to me

Up until the last final breath we take

Up until there’s no more tomorrow for us

c/o 3      I can see you my dear, in front the altar anxiously

                I can see your bright smile, as I walk through the chapel door

                And we exchange the vow, to love until the rest of time

                And you gave a warm kiss, and whisper slowly to my ear

I love you so much, I love you so much

I’ll love you forever, baby girl

I love you so much

Baby I love you too

April fool

I never really celebrated it once, not really into this prank things. But today, I really feel like I got pranked. I cried a lot today, I never been this hurt before. I think the last time I cried this much is the day I thought that Si Won is going to get married, and the day that I officially decide not to look at him anymore.

                Earlier yesterday, during Dr.Nooraini class, there was an announcement made in class, ‘whoever interested to go to Korea, please fill in your name.’ Of course you know what I feel when I finally write my name there, even though there are possibility that I will be going, I still have a doubt about it, but I am very extremely happy. I even thought of what to do, what to wear, what to buy when I got there. My friends even have a list of item for me to buy there. It’s like a dream come true for me, I thought even if I didn’t make it to Harvard Summer School, at least I will be making it for Korea Summer School. I laugh all the way back, as if I thought my days to Korea are finally going to come true, sooner than I thought. The whole day I was being exited, but there is one thing that I missed in filling the paper, I don’t write my CGPA yet. I thought it was haven’t being submitted yet, so I was taking things slow. I thought that the opportunity of going was equal to everybody, we just need to pass an interview. Silly silly me.

                This morning, I go to meet Dr. Norsiah, I go to her office to settle it down, to write down my CGPA. As soon as I told her about Korea, she said, ‘I have removed your name because of insufficient data.’ DANG!!!! I was still able to smile when she told me. but as I go to DSI, I got straight into the toilet and cry a few drops of tears due to my frustration, I cannot cry longer because I have to got back to the studio, plus, I can’t even show my tears to my friends, even the closest one, unless it’s an accident. Only after I came into my room, I cried myself to sleep. I find comfort to myself, since I can’t complain about it, I don’t even have anybody to complaint it with, and my friends have their own problem to settle.

                In the end, I just told myself, one day I will go to Korea with my own money, live there for a while, if it’s good enough maybe I could date 1 of them. I will definitely do it, because I am talented and more than the average planner. I also find the comfort in the song ‘TVXQ-She’.

“She is very prideful
She never cries
How strong of a person she is”

           

Of course, there is no one who think of me this way, no one ever took or even look at me seriously. I gave up on finding someone who will try to understand my complexes and personality. 

DIVA

I really cant stand the behavior of people act like a diva........ Think she is a goddess, so almighty and so great, as if everyone want to worship her aas if she had the beauty that no one have in the world. what an idiot... Plus, assuming everyone need to hear what she said... what a jerk... Plz dont let her turn into a celeb or else, the world will be ruined... EEEE.... Bencinya... ANd she is also a selfish person, bermuka2 and try hard to make others think that she is a gud girl, a humble, friendly and whatever the good thing is her... just thinking about it make me feel sick and dizzy.... And thinking of her face make me feel like puke...... and because the person like her that make guys be fooled by their eyes...  all i can say is hopefully she change herself, otherwise, she will face dooms day in few years time...

Stereotype

I think, knowing kpop culture and Korean wave is one of the most beautiful and meaningful thing that happen to me... at least i can get entertainment,,, nice song, nice dance, beautiful view..most of all, eye candy!!!!! But until recently, i have develop a disease from them... which is the Korean beauty standard.... i become too juddgemental about beauty nowadays..... sharp nose, round eyes, slim figure, long legs if for girls.... for guys, strong jawline, six pax, cute or pretty boys, colored hair, 180cm height, or in Malaysia's case, 175cm could be considered.... i got really sick this time... better get the cure before its too late... but their staandard is just too perfect.... it''s too ideal & irresistable....

SNSD Yoona is their indicator of beauty.... what do u think?

 
Should i show u the whole member in SNSD? Nice slim figure rite.... Plus, white milky skin, sharp nose bridge, long legs..... dat is just so BEAUtiful....


And here,, the male categories......

Whether it's 2PM.........

OR

 Beast..... 

You can see the pattern,,, all gud looking guys with muscles.... stronger image of boys,, with sharp nose and strong jawline.....


Here another sample.......

SHINee.......

 transform to more masculine image....

Even the cute Taemin changes image from this

to this....

But it's not a bad thing at all, in fact i love it.... all of them getting more maanlier each time they release new single... Plus, it is fun to watch how the kids are growing....

The only thing is,, i am getting more and more into thier stereotype,, it sometime will destroy me if i did not stop..... 

The end of Holiday.... StartiN of Bloody Camp

I'm not sure where to start today.... I got headache caused from oversleep.. Well, today will be the last day of holiday, and tomorrow will be Studio... Juz thinking of it make head goes Bingeul bingeul..... And on Thursday 10pm, will be the starting of Environmental camp, but in my thought, it is a Bloody camp...

Ok, not like the bloody camp, death bell 2 though

 i'm sure we will lose some of our blood to the mosquitoes there.....huhuhu..my precious type B blood....

Hopefully i dont got sick with that....... but i'm really hoping that i will have much fun with the boat ride and jungle trekking...n hopefully meeting young n hot guys there..( maybe in my dream...)

 Just imagine, seeing these boys in the middle of rainforest doing photoshoot.... I'm totally going crazy...smiling all day.....

it would be even better if aall 5 of SS501 is there,,,, a total eye candy... leader is so hot, magnae is so cute....all in 1...

But most of all...this 1 guy that can stop my heart.... KIM HYUNG JUN.... i dont know how would i react if i actually meet him in person... seriously... seing Kim Kibum lookalike in KL also make me shock... i cant close my eyes.... if i actually see him aaccidentally... OMG, i think i'm really going CRAZY!!! 

Well yeah, dat is only 'What if.' KEep on dreaming Amy, the train is keep on moving.... once it stop, u''ll be too old to notice what u haave missed in your life... 

I GUESS I''M JUZ SO CRAZY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's been a good long 1 week holiday and now i'm started to feel bored but relax at time. All i do is browsing the internet, other thn that is sleeping time. But my main concern now is that browsing the internet make go crazy. I''m bored at it, but yet i'm still keep on doing the same routine. Every night before bed i will browse to see if there is something interesting on the net, especially about Kim Hyung Jun. I don't know why i am so crazy about him, i mean it is more serious this time coz i''m older now but still love him.... (hahahaha...dat's a funny statement)
I think i'm not that normaal since i have a huge celebrity crush on him.... When i say huge,,, it is super HUGE... Larger than life... I wish to stop too, but i just can't. Plus, i don't have any other guy to adore....hehehehe....^^

God, save me!!!

Isn't he juz so gud looking??? God, stop me, plz........ >~<