Every Friday, coming back from the office would be the most sucks moment of my life, every criticism make me feel sick and hate being in this planning course. I wasn’t looking for this, I just doing fine by my own, what is the purpose of taking this course now is more clearer to me, it’s all a waste of time, that is too bad. The people there are fine, as a friend, but not as my colleague. It’s not that they are not good, but I am the one that is not good with people, I can’t cope with people’s reaction over my work, the work that I not satisfy with. And the worst part is, I know what I do, but everything that I do, my friends just reject it, and I started to feel bad about what is going to happen. Okay, I took the wrong thing because what I want to do is for the other thing that peole doesn’t choose.
Basically, me & my friends were the same, we carry different heads, everyone wants their ideas to be accepted, but in the end, since I am the youngest and looks unreliable, they just ignore my opinion. We did realize this before, that we could be the BESTEST friend in the whole wide world, but we never could work under a group. The environmental assignment proves a lot. I also think that I can’t work under people or too long, please welcome me, ‘THE LITTLE MISS ARROGANT’. This teaches me one thing, I SHOULD BE MY OWN BOSS!!!
Hurm,,, I can’t wait for the end of this industrial training to be done, even though there will be something that I will miss from there. Definitely there would, but I just want to finish it before I become more depressed and got old.
I am going to be a designer, have a taste of what I like to do in the beginning. Or maybe going to learn music, whatever I like. I should at least fulfill one of my favourite things to do to at least fulfill my desire. At least once, because I mentally feel exhausted and dying inside. I feel depressed but I don’t know how to express it to people outside. I wish I could bear it but it seems too long to reach. And I still have 1 year long to get through after going for it for 3 long years. What am I going to do with my life? I need to earn my own money when I turn 26. That’s mean I still have 3 more years after I graduate, if I grad on time, okay… So now, what’s my back up plan? I still couldn’t decide it, I feel like my heart is going to explode just thinking of the whole incident of today, and the whole thing about planning. I don’t want to do anything that got to do with planning and built environment. I’LL BACK OFF SO YOU CAN LIVE BETTER!!!!
